LXC but sometimes everything is so hard ...!
He walked vaguely fearful. He made a hint of trying to hug him, but the other's eyes, fixed on the pavement, made her give up. I felt the cold that conveyed his silence and hesitated even to pronounce his name.
-Lucas .- said finally.
The nominee shook his head in a subtle movement, almost imperceptible, and focused the light on your interlocutor.
-Hi .- spoke again.
"Hi.
did not know what to say, only one sentence youcame to mind: "I'm sorry." How could he say just that? How to ignore everything that seemed to be suffering and take refuge in a sentence so typical and stupid, so senseless? "I offered to buy you a coffee .- solicitous. -Adri ... Adriana ...- called "Thanks for coming.
She smiled. However, the gesture was not returned. Just walked down the deserted street, in these hours of the morning, one after another. He wanted to take the hand, to point out that I was not alone, I would never be. Wanted ... Also, he was already alone. And just got the closure of the jacket and put his hands in his pockets. Undertook a faster pace. Adriana followed.
local was a rather small, with two or three tables set. A nice colored tablecloth covered the table borrravino wood they were occupying. White and steaming cups warmed the icy environment.
Lucas took a sip from his cup and allowed to stand in his hands. Instead, she was engaged to him, to find the brother who remembered having left her body. -
He watched quietly, protected behind the steam of the tea he had ordered. After a while he got bored and went to inspect them to see the small type dull cup. - How long have not we? Three? Four years? - She said.
-Seven .- said. Her eyes opened wide with surprise. Those were too old, too long and yet so little.
- They could not have been so many! - Criticized. "Yes, seven years. She sighed & amp; oacute;, somewhat tired, somewhat dejected. That person before him was his brother, but he seemed so changed! It was a rare kind of lie, because I was sure it was him, but also something he had disappeared, had broken or dead ... Dead? So many words and that always loomed.
- How long have you left the house? "Three years and a half, I think.
"Time is going too soon ...- let out a whisper. A clamor broke quickly from ensoñacióny made them turn to the couple. CHTe, a and almost atonal.
paused prey of something like grief. "But it's a long and sad story to be told .- he said condescendingly.
- Do you know? I have all the time in the world to hear plenty of tissues and disposable suit. Tell me please ... I responded with a simple smile, tiny, however: it was a smile. The first showing him since they had seen. The first and hopefully not the last.
And when all seems done, when your last tear spilling
be mine.
When your blood is not enough I will wait to corrupt you completely
will offer your body at night.
Let the sweet taste of death gets by you.
Let the moon shine in the sky quiet.
Let me love until it hurts.
When you lose the sense
and rhythmic movement to stop my cry
be the right time to submit yourself.
Speak! & IexcMLXC
- Why? In what sense? - She asked.
"Well, he ... He or boy was quiet.
"What was that statement? Why could feel so much sadness in his eyes almost insensitive to his brother?
-holidays .- spoke as if counting something alien to him, oblivious to anyone who wanted conocíay So - What kid does not love this time of leisure and warmth summer?
"Paul hated them. Each Diaye every night .- said "But I had a mOtive, one would not have ever, not only for being under threat, but because he embarrassed himself. Vamos! With thirteen years does not understand the magnitude of something like that! - He cried for Paul was a malicious and disturbing game, but what could he really understand?
"That particular year had done well in school used to have problems, but her mother had not received a call, there were no reports of bad behavior or anything similar. Bethlehem, his mother was so proud!
"And all the rest of the world, too busy to noticeamp; ldquo; O: "Daddy rape me, I will not go there."
"Who knows? Some have worked, some of you all have given their freedom and would have saved the pain. But he said nothing, and there it was again.
"'m panting from heat and not letting go of his mother's hand. The bell rang and Paul prayed that was not at home, it was gone, which had mysteriously disappeared. That was dead, anything! But that did not open the damn door!
And even use whatever complexes with her battered self esteem the door opened. And in the facevolvíaa it be that being lustful who knew him in every possible way and in every sense of the phrase.
"" Hello, nice .- he said and then he looked to the mother.
"A hug was shared by a few moments. Paul wanted to scream, run, hate, murder ... All these feelings that are prevalent in a child's account .- slowed while watching anything with disgruntled face.
The way he had made a horrible Adriana idea is to give all, did you understand to some degree the trauma of Paul.
She left it no more - started & oacute, again, suddenly, by his jailer, his eternal nightmare monster. He left it as many times. And he felt like the first time, as never before had happened and he had suddenly discovered that it hurt in the soul that his father do him any such thing.
"Now veníaa understand that it was wrong, that it was not a little game ... It was rape!
"I wanted to scream, throw in his face that he knew the evil that was making it. Wanted, and yet he knew he would not do, fear dominated him, paralyzed his body and came to the conclusionsN they only get what damage afloat.
eyes began to crystallize.
-Lucas ... Are you okay?
-A he did all that. I'm fine .- said.
- I can ask you something?
"You're doing.
She was a girl with that answer, he felt the lower being the reverse.
- How did you hear about all this? I thought ... he did not have those things you just said it ...
"I never really said .- said.
- So?
"Sometimes no words are needed. He never told me directly:
"My father
viola." I knew it, knew it all.
- But how? I do not understand.
A grin appeared on his lips and stared.
"It did not tell me the exact words. I knew by the comments made by the things that kept me reading escribíay, in their attitudes .- made a little pause in which suppressed the smile and looked away-I knew.
ran out of phrases. I entend & iacute; to, but I could not relate at all.
- I can go?
only nodded.
- Do you know? The nights are long. In the afternoon a few cigarettes made to stay lying on the couch with a beer in hand. But the nights ... the nights are long ... and devilishly devious.
"The screams filled his room, kitchen, bathroom. The screams that came from Paul's throat heard around the house no matter what was the place of 'gathering'.
"There just was not any consideration. Tied itto bed or chair. I undressed slowly, leaving kisses and licks. I masturbated almost timidly.
"I loved her moans and sought by all means hear.
"Until I finally got tired of that, there came a point where did not have enough moaning, pleasure was not enough, I had to take it to the limit, push the edge making it touch with the pain. Painful pleasure, that he liked and he liked that cause painful pleasure. Tears
moved silently down her face and she felt the need to mourn, too, to join him in feeling. I wanted to empathize withhistory as he had done his brother.
"From then on, tore the clothes, bit her viciously until you see blood. Beat him if he needed to hear urgently beg or whine.
"It was absurd.
Her eyes now showed no sadness, no longer reflect anything.
"It was just lost in the dark and lifeless but breathing out.
"And he penetrated with force, violent thrusts dashed into the young body. I masturbated hard. Drank his semen or smeared on the little face reddened by the act.
"He only termInaba when the child fell unconscious and left to put the slightest attempt to resist. I took the hips and that beast in heat lunged as if to break that little body he was possessing.
"After leaving him lying there on the floor or bed or wherever. If he remembered it unleashed.
"And that, every night. Each nightly holiday .- latter said in a whisper and gave the illusion that he was reminding himself.
"During the day he was lying, trying to regain your strength. Not walking, not moving, not eating or baby í to anything. The rings were displayed on his face. Paul seemed the shadow of an attempt of a child, did not speak and his eyes could not see anything. It was a lifeless doll.
"was to see and feel the soul part you hundreds of pieces.
More crying.
Now she wept openly. He just let the tears fall.
"If there was anything interesting," he went on television to see his father took him Ely pity any food or helping him to stick a shower and remove the dried blood and traces of semen . And if not, badluck stays there until the urge to 'play' will take you back to fall unconscious in the hands of who was supposed to care.
"That was not life. And unfortunately, neither was death.
- Do you offer anything else? - Asked the waiter approached the table.
back a few steps to her weeping and saw that he was wiping the remains of the sorry sob. When ready to order something ...
"Another area .- ordered Lucas.
-SSI
mumbled and walked away .-as fast as he could.
- What ... how awful! - could hardly articulate. Silence cured
history. The left to cry and unload, what else could I do?
-.- Here is the boy left the cup in front of Ely took it did before. "Thanks .-
said faintest tone.
"Nothing .- muttered and left.
- Poor! - Adri shouted in anger.
"Yes .- drank their cup sip a long So now I do not blame him for havingbeen "lonely boy" in high school.
- Was that why he ... he ...?
- suicide? - Completed-No.
- right?! - Was surprised by the response - "And then what happened?
"Because, despite saying on his face that I hated it, despite moving with his mother, despite everything he was looking for him. Paul always sought and that killed him.
- Do you still looking? - Repeated, stunned.
-Permitime
tell the day I met David.
- David? - Again repeating.
That made him smile on one side, but the name that made any attempt to show a positive emotion was left out.
-Paul .- The father looked at her for a tiny moment and decided to scrutinize the new cup he had in his hands "I remember perfectly. To this day, I mean. Sometimes I feel like yesterday. But I know not.
"It was during school time, while still living with our parents; clear that you were no longer with us. Incredibly pouring rain, it appeared thatho time seriously.
"And the silence became unbearable for me. I began to hum a tune and, finally, I began to invent a ditty that ultimately I think it sounded like one of the Christmas carols. Adriana laughed shortly
for the comment.
"But both are still waiting and I'm not lying when I say that we were there in silence for about fifteen minutes.
"- What's your name? - Said.
"-Lucas.
"-Lucas, the first car that gets us to the two, okay? Be my father or yours .- proposed.
"I turned his face and the corners are not sticking out or the more rickety cars.
"" Okay .- finally accepted.
- "And this guy came first? Mom did not come before? - Interrupted impatiently.
"Yes. David came first.
- No! Have you done something? Did he touch? Answer me! - Spoke any hasty and angry.
She was concerned as if that had happened, actually, yesterday and for a moment felt so angry as if both David and Paul were alive. No quuo; lyrical "if he wrote a poem.
- And how he named David? - Wanted to know.
-.- El Amante said.
This time he said nothing, made no comment on that. Review was limited to what he knew, to try to assimilate and understand everything. Adriana was having the opportunity to enter the mind of his brother and, even in Paul. That was a privilege to be convinced.
- Why was your lover?
"I never said.
- Why do you think you named it? - Let go without thinking and almost certainlya kind of trance in which I pondered it. Adriana looked in her eyes and noticed the terrible shame and the great affection they had.
"Well, back to that day ...
"First I would like to ask you something .- interrupted. He looked at her and waited patiently without complaining - Does the mother never noticed anything?
shook gently with a smile imbued with sadness fictional real.
"By the time the first car arrived," he went and we were tired of being silent and we talked about our likes, hobbies, bands, food, colors, and allI did thank the family I had. Sure it gives you an excellent idea of suffering and resentment transmitting speech.
'And I tell you this: - said "no one will know why .- I looked puzzled and saddened-No. I'll never tell anyone why .- corrected.
"At that moment I did not know the difference between a sentence of another. Now I do.
"In short, the car stopped suddenly in front of us, almost simulated materialize from nowhere. His face was hardened by noting that his father's car. I got nervous and wanted to skip the pledge to go both in the firstcar. I turned on myself to say that better waiting for my mother and on her face I saw something that struck me: hatred and resignation mixed in their lips stiff and almost something between fear and indifference in their eyes that watched me or looked at the car but lost in the sky. I wanted to escape that little trip, I did not want family arguments, "and enough of our" I thought ...
, "Veni ...- almost begged me as if reading my mind. His hand grabbed me hard and, although trembling grip made me get in the car.
- God - screamed in horror and then volteó to see if anyone had heard - "And you left him? Is that you took home degenerate?
"Yes. And the worst thing that looked like a normal father. Had greeted him softly, his name was soft spoken and I had said "hello" like any normal person.
"I do not know why, but we always think that someone who others hate, golden rule, you must be a kind of madness errant, must be a person who can identify as 'hateful'. That does not happen in real life. David was confused in the crowd if they wanted was a quiet guy, he handled prudentlycuriosity. It was then decided that we were friends.
- Just because of that? - Snapped.
"Yes, what excuse boluda, right? Excuse
-funny guy wanting to cut .- said weather had tensióny sadness.
They were silent for a while, watching their drinks or spying on the couple who now talked animatedly.
- And from then on they got along and became friends? - Pry suddenly.
"Yes. We started to get together after school to go to some places to spend the evening infor he had no home. Moreover, when I fought at home spent the night with him ...
- Do you ...? Did you ...?- stammered trying to assemble a coherent sentence.
He looked funny, that amused him.
- You did? - Said at last.
- Do what? - Muttered with a grin.
- That! You know! - Shook his head still smiling "Well, that ... You know what bothers ...- snorted and after a while debating how to say let him go:- If you made love!
- Ah! That! - Quipped "No, we did not. We were friends, Adri, nothing more.
"But he ... Do you like?
"That's another story ...